Erratic and capricious. Is pleased by most blue things. Likes to dream of tweed, and black cats, and coffee, and out-of-print novels. Badly whistles Belle & Sebastian songs when nervous. Inept conversationalist. Somewhat adept writer.
‘Hey, we won something! This is really unexpected! I want to thank Dan Harmon, who created the greatest show on television…. We would like to thank NBC for keeping us on the air…. Jokes all aside, we are thrilled to be here tonight.’
I am Inspector Spacetime, and I know that which is unknown. Duty bound to protect the Universe of innocent unremarkables, I patrol it in X7 Dimensionizer, with my loyal Constable Reggie. This week however, Reggie has been forced to go to lunch, so I’m aboard the crappier H.M.S. Spacetime 12, from the worst season ever, with temporary Constable, Geneva.
I am Abed Nadir and I don’t know a lot of things everyone else knows. I wonder the Universe with my friend Troy doing whatever I want, sometimes accidentally hurting innocent unremarkables. This week however, Troy went to lunch and I adapted. I now have the ability to enter the minds of others using an elusive new technique known as empathy.